Naw'lins trip

6/28/14-7/1/14

Mike and I were sitting around this winter (probably February) talking about how we never go anywhere on vacation anymore (without the kids, on our own, to a place we've never been before kind of vacation!). I had just done our taxes and knew we'd get some money back. So I say 'you know what? Let's take some of that tax return and just go somewhere this summer. You and I, together, no kids.' At the time I think we must have been watching an episode of NCIS and they were in NOLA for a couple of episodes. Mike says 'actually this makes me really want to go to New Orleans, I've never been.' I hadn't either - so the deal was if we could find 2 cheap tickets and keep the total for the trip below $1,000 we'd do it.
I did a lot of research, kept my eye on tickets, and purchased them later that month (or maybe early March). My in-laws could watch the kids, done deal we were going. A vacation! And so I began searching for what we should do down there. Which meant I had a list. And Mike knew, vacationing with me is anything but relaxing! I have to do at least a few of the 'top 10 things to do' in a place when we go. Or I may find the need to drive hours to some off the beaten path kind of place. There's no sitting by the pool or ocean all day when you vacation with me!
Fast forward to April and everything happened. As things settled I remembered, holy shit - we had a vacation planned. So I started the process of canceling everything. I canceled his ticket and then got to talking to some friends and family about canceling mine. Almost everyone asked me why I wouldn't still go? I didn't have an answer, other than it was a trip designed for Mike and I, and I wasn't sure I wanted to go without him now. But you know what? He would have wanted me to go. And if the tables were turned I would have wanted him to go. And it turns out I had people willing to go with me and do all these things with me. A number of friends had tried to take time to come with me, but it didn't work out. My 2 sister-in-laws jumped right in and booked tickets and there it was - we were going and this would be a celebration to Mike (have I mentioned here what amazing family and friends I have? These 2 are top notch, I'll say it publicly right now! They are more sisters to me than relatives by marriage). We'd do things that he had wanted to (swamp tour, eat alligator) and that I had planned on us doing together (ride a cable car, drink a hurricane, visit cemeteries). And we had a list beyond that thanks to my amazing friends and Mother-in-law!
Fast forward to last week, and there I was packing. We were really going to do this. I was excited but also apprehensive. I'd built a lot up on this trip and I knew it was going to be emotional. And it was. From that morning driving to the airport thinking that he should be there in the car with me (sorry Meg, you were a gorgeous passenger, though! :)) to sitting on the plane without him next to me (yes I cried when the plane took off). To seeing the hotel for the first time, imaging him there. See I hate flying. I have for quite some time. Love to travel, hate to fly. Mike knew this and always held my hand at take off and landing when we flew together. And if we were in different seats not close to each other (which happened sometimes), I would look around and find him - and he'd lift his hand up in the air so I could see it, and he'd pretend to grab my hand with it. Because he knew I would be sitting there with my leg shaking trying to breathe deep. So this time at take off and landing I held his wedding ring on a necklace that had a small amount of his ashes in it. When we got there the fun began, and didn't stop the entire time. We hit up Bourbon Street, threw beads for boobies, walked all over, did the swamp tour, visited a graveyard, and so much more. I brought 2 small vials of his ashes for his sister and my sister-in-law to have so he was with them for the trip, as well. We toasted Mike. We laughed at the things we think he would have loved and hated on the trip (Bourbon Street would have driven him insane! He hates crowds!) On Monday we walked down to the river front and I took one of the vials and put a tiny bit of ashes in the Mississippi so that a little bit of him is there. Well, it was, it's out to sea now I'm sure :) sorry it was so muddy honey! But I had to share you with the place we should have been together.
And then we said goodbye and came home. I'm glad I went. I'm glad I had such great company to go with me. I refuse to sit back and let this whole thing consume me, even though it gets close to it every day. Instead I will choose to live life for both of us. In a celebration of him, and for him. Every time I feel myself heading down the wrong path mentally I feel Mike put his arm around me and lead me back on track reminding me I don't want to go that way. And he's probably making fun of me while he's doing that. I can just hear him saying 'Snap out of it, Abi! What is WRONG with you?!?' ha.
"Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing at all." - Helen Keller
Here's to the next adventure that awaits.