In One Second... everything can change

It's been 3 weeks today since Michael died. It's taken me 3 weeks to even think about starting this blog and figuring out if it was something I wanted to do. With all the thoughts that have gone through and that continue to go through my head, I think this will be helpful. Even if no one ever reads it. Even if it's just for me. At this point, I think anything will help.
Exactly 3 weeks ago was Easter Sunday. 4/20/2014. A date that is now forever etched in my memory and in my life and in the life of my children. It started out like any normal Easter in our house - kids eating candy at 7am and bouncing off the walls. We did our egg hunt and Easter baskets. It was a normal day. We were going to my brother-in-law's house for Easter dinner once the kids were done with naps/rest time that day. Michael had gone down to our neighbors while the kids rested to help them with a project. Around 1:35pm he left on his motorcycle to go for a ride. Michael never came home. At around 1:40pm he lost control of his bike and hit a tree about 2 miles from our house. And in one second he was gone. In one second his life was over, and that spark burned out. In one second I lost my husband. My kids lost their father. His parents lost their son. His siblings lost their brother. And the world lost a great person.
At about that same time I was getting into the shower, my daughter was still asleep and my son was on the couch watching a movie. I was thinking about what I needed to bring to Easter dinner. Wondering when Mike would be home to get ready. When I got out of the shower and dried off, put on my robe and I opened the door and Mike's brother was there. Surprised, I asked what was up but knew something was wrong by the look on his face. He asked me to come into the kitchen, where I saw a police officer. I remember very little about what happened next. I remember the police officer putting his hands on my shoulders and telling me there had been a motorcycle accident and that Michael was dead. I didn't understand, and I didn't believe it. He was at the neighbors house he wasn't on his motorcycle. There must have been a mistake. I had heard a motorcycle around the time they had left, but I didn't think it was him. But there was no mistake. It was Michael. And he was gone. And in one second my entire world collapsed. The man I had spent the last 13 years with, who I had married and who was the father of my children was simply gone. There was no goodbye. No last I love you. No last words. No last kiss. Nothing. There was just me, left with 2 small children wondering how this happened. In all my life I don't think I'll ever make sense of it. I'll never understand why he was taken away from us so young. Why his children will grow up without a father. Why I am a widow at the age of 38 and left with nothing but memories of an amazing man who I loved so much. Left to try and carry on without him.